An Epiphany

Every now and then,
the Holy Spirit provides me
with what I call a personal epiphany;
a thought, point, idea that has never
solidified in my brain before that seems
like a profound insight to me.  I have only
been a Christian for about 12 years so many
of these may be old hat to some, but I thought
I would share them when they happen anyway.  

Today, I was listening to Christian radio and heard a
couple of songs that had I heard many times before.  
Some I have sung in church but today as listened to the
words something struck me.  The common themes of several
songs in a row were “more” and “show me”.  They were asking God for more; more power, more revelation, more love.  They were also asking God for a show; a show of His power, His glory, His majesty.  As the words rolled around in my head, I heard the whisper “just open your eyes”.  Suddenly, I realized how selfish I was to be asking the God who has given me everything and sacrificed everything to have a relationship with me for more of anything.    More love!!?? Christ on the cross is not enough for me, I need more?  More power!!?? Christ’s resurrection and victory is not enough for me, I need more?  As far as the show me part, He tells me the heavens declare His glory constantly.  His creation (the mountains, the valleys, the flowers, the weeds, the majestic, the insignificant, the difficult person) all reveal His glory, majesty and power.  I am surrounded and filled with His glory, majesty, power and love every second of everyday and here I am asking Him to show me?  I don’t even live a place seeped in the ugliness of a fallen world where I could come up with a good reason for not “seeing”.  All I could think was “oh God, forgive me!”

Redneck Churches

I am writing this blog because I felt a
prompting from the Holy Spirit.  It is a
little weird because I don't really think
anyone wants to read my story and
musings; however, over the years, I have
learned that obedience is the best response
to His prompting.  So, I will continue my story
be but I will also interrupt the story with other
musings when the Spirit leads.  Consider this an
interruption.  

I have always held that God has a wonderful and sometime infuriating sense humor.  I have had people challenge me on this saying God does not have a sense of humor.   All I can say is that God has created us in his image and the best parts of humanity, including our humor, are a reflection of Him.  If you need further proof look at the platypus and emu.  

Now, I grew up in the beach cities of Southern California with liberal parents…about as far from redneck as one can get, but I always got a good laugh from those lists of “you might be a redneck if….”  We currently live in the mountains of Colorado with a strong redneck influence.  In fact, our little church in the woods may have a strong redneck bent
so I have created my own list as to evidence…

You might be the wife of a pastor of a redneck church if the first church service was held in the sand pit of the local camp ground and the only person who came may not have been wearing a shirt and may have been a wee bit hungover.

You might be the wife of a pastor of a redneck church if the cross on the wall of the church resembles a couple of branches held together by baling twine and the second cross in the church resembles a 4-way tire iron.

You might be the wife of a pastor of a redneck church if the church building resembles a barn and church attenders have to go outside to use the bathroom which resembles an outhouse.

You might be the wife of a pastor of a redneck church if in order to use the church van you have to back it up to the church, take some pews out of the church and reinstall them in the van so people have a place to sit.  

You might be the wife of a pastor of a redneck church if dogs are included in church attendance counts.  

You might be the wife of a pastor of a redneck church if the pastor has to watch his step during a sermon so he does not step on one of the dogs attending church.

You might be the wife of a pastor of a redneck church if church attendance goes way down during hunting season.

You might be the wife of a pastor of a redneck church if you have been invited over for a dinner of roadkill.

You might be the wife of a pastor of a redneck church if the road base for the new parking consists of old carpet.

And
a couple final thoughts about rednecks in general…you might be a redneck if you think you can fix anything with duck tape and baling twine.

You might be a redneck if you think the greatest revolution in interior decorating came when they started making duck tape in prints.

I have come a long way from the beach cities of Southern California…again God does have a sense of humor!

In The Beginning

The rather ironic part of the statement
“Christians are not independent thinkers
and are trapped in a restrictive, patriarchal,
narrow-minded culture” is that although the
statement is definitely what I thought about
Christians in a broad sense, it was not what
I thought about my new husband who was a
Christian. Definitely a disconnect!



I am not saying I did not have a sense of God or the eternal. I was a self-proclaimed agnostic. This word can have many meanings but to me it meant I believed in God. In fact I talked to Him on a regular basis. I did not believe in Jesus Christ as God’s son and humanity’s savior. I did not deny his existence…there was/is too much proof of that. He was a charismatic teacher with many sound albeit radical teachings but nothing more.

After we married, we bought a little house in the suburbs. Mark continued his work as a mortgage broker, I tried to get a job in my field (Environmental Science/Wildlife Biology) and worked at REI in the mean time. We attended church religiously and I mean religiously. Mark was emphatic that the world had to be ending for us to miss a Sunday. We also joined a couples small group with about 10 other couples in the same stage of life. I enjoyed church. The choir was awesome and the pastor had an enjoyable preaching style. His sermons were short, topical and practical, just my style. Our couples group was a great bunch of people and we did many activities and studies together. Life was good.

The next step: start a family.

Confession #1

So I’ve been threatening my
husband for the past several
years that I was going to write a
book entitled “Confessions of a
Reluctant Pastor’s Wife”.  Since life
is busy and bills must get paid by working
paying jobs, the book writing project never
made it to the top of the “to do” list.  However,
I have felt a prompting by God to write something
so I asked my wonderful, somewhat techy husband
to create a blog for me and voila…my first blog post.

After creating the title of my book, I got as far as writing the first sentence;  in all capital letters.  I MARRIED A MORTGAGE BROKER!!!!  In fact, when I met my future husband, he was what Christians would call a “worldly Christian”: he was getting into heaven but just barely and definitely not living like it.  He had no aspirations or callings to become a pastor, and I definitely was NOT looking to be a pastor’s wife.  The first confession is that when we got married I was not even a Christian.  I was a self-proclaimed agnostic.  I went to one of the most liberal universities in the country, had a science-based bachelor’s degree… and Christians, well they did not have any independent thinking abilities and were trapped in a restrictive, patriarchal, narrow-minded culture.  So as you can imagine, becoming a pastor’s wife was not even on my radar.